Creating habits
October 16th 2010 11:09
I read this week that if you conscientiously do something you don't ordinarily do - and don't want to do - 30 times or more, it will become a habit.
What this suggests is that things we are bad at doing, such as perhaps paying bills on time, can be changed to natural inclinations by sufficient repetition to make them second nature. It is an interesting theory and I wouldn't be surprised if it were true for most people.
It is not true for me, of course. I am psychologically and constitutionally incapable of paying bills on time. I'm not saying I have tested the theory via 30 consecutive timely responses to demands for money, I'm saying I don't believe it could ever become a habit for me.
It wouldn't be a problem for my wife. In fact, nothing's a problem for my wife. She's one of those people who, every time they see something which needs to be done, do it. Immediately.
My wife's idea of a relaxing Saturday morning is planning what she is going to do for the rest of the weekend. That's fine - I often do the same thing. Where we diverge is that my wife actually does all those things. Come late Sunday, when I'm often still in bed dreaming of what I might do with the rest of the evening, my wife's To Do list is nothing but a long row of crossed-off items.
It can be, let me tell you, quite tiring to watch.
This has led to occasional conflict in one or two areas where she has strong beliefs, such as turning off lights when leaving a room. This proved, in the early days of our cohabitation, to be at philosophical and procedural odds with my own practices.
However, I love my wife dearly and I tried to bridge this gap, especially when she was around. The best example is when I serve dinner at night. I cook regularly, and I enjoy seating my wife at the table and bringing the food with just a little waiterly ceremony.
The first few times I did this, my wife smiled and cooed and made other appreciative noises, and then left the table to go to the kitchen to turn off the kitchen light, the pantry light and the oven hood light. This spoiled the sense of culinary occasion, so I took to doing it myself.
When I remembered.
I remembered tonight. Having placed the food on the table, I marched straight back to the kitchen and turned off the lights, and checked the microwave door was closed and all the gas rings were off.
This was odd because I ate alone tonight, my wife being interstate for the weekend visiting her family. I had a little chuckle to myself. It's almost as if, simply because I have done it a few times, it has become a habit.
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