The long road back to my youth
September 28th 2009 05:38
There are three principal stages on the road to reversal, by which I mean the dream of a spreading middle-aged man to return to the health, wellbeing and flat stomach of his younger days. Those steps, one might say, comprise the journey from fit to fat and back again.
Stage one is the first step. Literally. It is not hard physically, but it takes great mental strength. Some spreading middle-aged men never manage step one.
Stage two is when you have slimmed down enough to discard the bicycle-style inner thigh protectors. I have never liked those things, but I liked chaffed thighs even less.
Stage three is the red-letter day that your stomach is, from any angle that you look at it, once again completely flat. What a day that would be, the hour-glass, as Auden said, whispering to the lion's roar.
Alas, not yet. I have lost 11 kilograms in nine months — I reckon I need to lose another nine kilograms to reach those once-charted heavenly waters. But as I prepared for a lunch-time jog today, the thought came to me that maybe I was at stage two. Maybe I was ready to go bicycle-pantless. Yes, it was worth a try.
I don't know why I dislike those cycling shorts so much. Maybe it's just that running shorts are so light and liberating that anything else seems restrictive. Indeed, as I set out today I immediately had a sense of freedom of movement that I hadn't felt for years.
And back home now after my 40-minute run I am delighted to report that I found some decent antiseptic cream in my bathroom cabinet. I should be able to walk normally again in a few days.
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This is about health and longevity and quality of life. It's not about vanity. Not one bit. Not a skerrick. Nary a tad. Not the tiniest, teensiest, minuscule hint.
Well, okay, maybe a little bit.